Lady Rabia Abdul Hakim
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Confessions of an Involuntary Super Mom

5/12/2014

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Confessions #1 - I didn’t plan to be a “Super Mom”. The thing is I love babies.  I especially love bathing and dressing them, but I didn’t realize that babies grow into teenage-mutant-door-slamming-monsters or that I’d be raising a tribe of them on my own. Did I mention of have SIX of these monsters? Anyway, that’s what happened.  And I guess I make it look easy because people call me “Super Mom”, which is really a pleasant euphemism for “the crazy woman with all those kids.”

Confessions #2 – Even after 20 years, I still haven’t perfected the art of sneaking out of bed without waking the little munchkins (aka monsters). Yes, one of them is usually in my bed. Most mornings start at dawn with me trying to ease out of bed to grab some coffee and workout before they wake up and start World War III.  This is never successful. Usually, as I’m easing off the bed, my 7 year old (with her eyes closed) says, “I want coffee, too.” Then, I sigh and plod downstairs with her and Cat close behind. Cat is actually a cat. I call her Cat and my children call her Sister, but I’m sure I didn’t birth her.

Confession #3 – My morning workouts consist more of dancing than actually running on the treadmill. I realize that now because one of my mutant-teenage-monsters secretly videoed me doing just that. Once on the treadmill, iPhone blaring away, I constantly hop-straddle the side strips, gyrating to songs like Gal A Bubble. The coffee is kicking in by then, you see. That’s when my 18 year old daughter usually descends and gasps, “Oh GAWD Mom! Old people can’t dance like that.”

FYI: I’M OFFICIALLY 28 YEARS OLD, SO I CAN DANCE HOWEVER I WANT!

Whoa, lost it there for a bit.

Confession #4 – I’m NOT superhuman, so sometimes I lose it.

Anyway, after grumpy, big sister descends, a wave of teenagers rush downstairs - all screaming for coffee (they love coffee), for conditioner (I think they drink that too); one is screaming to get into the shower (they still love to bathe – yes, that’s my fault), one  needs her clothes out of the dryer (they hate ironing); another needs the iron because the stupid dryer doesn’t iron clothes well enough, they all need lunch money, they need black socks; one needs me to write a note because there is NO WAY she is swimming in that disgusting pool, boy-twin needs a note because he’s too sick to do PE, and the 7 year old needs a note because I forgot to buy the stuff for her project. Again. Oops. Sorry, honey.

Eventually, they all gather at the front door. Good. They’re leaving. But first…they remind me to bring lunch money; I tell them what to cook for dinner; they moan and beg for pizza; the twins start choking each other; I scream at them to stop - they’re going to miss the bus; grumpy, big sister checks herself in the mirror again; I scream that she’s going to miss the bus; the girl-twin announces she’s colouring her curls a fiery red; the 7 year old  declares she’s colouring her hair too; I scream that they’re all going to miss the bus; they crowd the treadmill to kiss me bye (which takes a while). And as they finally leave, grumpy, big sister yells over her shoulder, “Enjoy your dirty-dancing workout, Mom.” Rolls eyes. Slams door. Monster.

Confession #5 - I AM the crazy woman with all those kids.

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My Very Odd Mother

5/12/2014

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My mother was far from the typical lovey-dovey mothers you see on TV. Faaaar from it.  She wasn’t the “let’s have some tea and talk it over” type. She was more the “you better hush ‘fore I knock you out” type. Needless to say, I had a very odd and stressful childhood.

For one thing, when I was growing up, mother always insisted she was dying. Yes, she’s been dying for as long as I can remember.  She was so serious about this, she listened to the radio each Sunday choosing sad songs for her funeral. The Old Rugged Cross was her top pick. Just As I Am was another. Yes, Sundays were quite depressing.

And three things would happen when anyone else on Cayman Brac died:

1. Mother would claim she was dying from the same illness. “Yeah, I got the same thing poor, ole Johnny had. I         gonna soon be gone, too.”
2. She would swear she had a premonition of the neighbour’s death in a dream.
3. She would swear the neighbor’s ghost visited her during the night.

Do you know how stressful it is when your mother is a ghost whisper?

Mother was also NOT the soothing type. Sympathy was rare for fear of raising children who were “soft.” So, her reaction to me standing there with the top half of my toe stubbed off, was, “Wha’don’t kill yuh, makes yuh stronger.”  Then, she’d generously dump flour on my wounded toe and send me off to play. Limping. No disinfectant. No, I quickly learned not to ask for that or the rubbing alcohol might come out. Band-Aids? Not a chance. If I was lucky, she would fashion a crude (horrendously embarrassing) bandage from a ripped t-shirt around my disfigured toe. There. Now, limp away and go play.

And mother never said things like, “Don’t worry. Everything will be okay.” Instead, she chanted, “That’s wha’ yuh get because you don’t listen to nothing I say.”

But anxiety was a normal part of life with mother for other reasons - she constantly had “bad feelings” (aka foreboding feelings), her “bad eye” was always jumping and her sinister dreams and superstitions usually predicted some ominous occurrence. For example:

• If she dreamed about white sand – someone was going to die.
• If a black cat crossed the left side of the road – someone was going to die.
• If she dreamed about dirty water – someone was going to die.
• If she saw a black snake – someone was going to die.
• If her bad eye jumped – something bad was going to happen – someone was probably going to die.

• If her good eye jumped…wait… HER GOOD EYE NEVER JUMPED.

Mother even admonished us if we laughed too much. She’d say, “Laughing brings crying.” Which is code for “someone’s going to die.”

As I got older her pessimism intensified. Prior to the birth of my first child, my (psychic) mother (who was still alive by the way), predicted that I would have an ugly baby.  Her reason? Because two attractive people always have ugly children. This was mother’s ancestral theory – apparently our ghost-whispering ancestors were experts in genealogy.

Still, I tried to benefit from her “no-nonsense” attitude and wisely chose to disregard her other odd opinions.

Eventually, I dumped flour on my own stubbed toes and as I watched the white flour clump and turn a deep maroon, I’d hear her saying, “Wha’don’t kill yuh, makes yuh stronger.” 

In that way I grew up tough, unafraid of hard work, oblivious to ghosts, completely un-phased by the notion of ugly babies, and in possession of copious material about mother to be used for a hilarious bestseller.


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The Power of Compelling Photography in Cause Marketing

5/12/2014

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At some point in time, all nonprofit organizations and corporate citizens find themselves needing images. So, they call up the cousin of a board member and …tadaa - the pictures for the next newsletter are ready to go …kinda’ – though no one is quite sure what they’re pictures of. The other scenario - they call in a professional, get charged an outrageous fee and are left with cold, generic, “stock-like” photos.  What I’m trying to say is – images are one thing, but compelling images are quite another.

Compelling photography can be a powerful tool for social change.   Here are 4 reasons why compelling images are vital to any social marketing effort: 

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To Attract Attention

Images easily attract the attention of people, which is not surprising considering that a great portion of the rear brain is devoted to visual processing and half of the cortex is involved in sight. But emotional images do more than just get your attention. They draw you in and arouse your curiosity. They make you want to learn more like this one below that I was commissioned to capture for A-Nahda Women’s Society in Saudi Arabia. Wondering why this boy is standing there looking so sad? This is what advertising greats call “story appeal” which readers find engaging. Images with “story appeal” peak the reader’s curiosity and prompts them to read the ad. This is very important if you are trying to inform the reader about an important social issue or event or if you are trying to convince them to change risky behaviors.


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 To Convince

People always say, “seeing is believing” and this is crucial in cause marketing. Compelling images have the power of persuasion which is vital to convince stakeholders that you have an authentic need. It’s one thing if you tell people that children are starving in Africa, but it’s more convincing if you show them an image of an emaciated child with flies buzzing around his face.  Provocative images are also great vehicles for nonprofits to powerfully demonstrate how donations are being used. The NGO that commissioned me to capture this image on the right wanted culturally sensitive images to authenticate their programs for disabled women in the Kingdom. 


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Engaging, unique images like this mock-up are also crucial for corporate citizens who want to creatively communicate their commitment to their initiatives for minimizing environmental impact. 
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To Maximize Impact When There is Limited Time & Space

Most people are familiar with the adage “a picture is worth a thousand words”. In other words, compelling images can be so powerful words become unnecessary. And in social marketing this is extremely important given the limited time of the reader, the limited space for copy and the limited resources of many organizations. Truly evocative images can exceed the impact of language.


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To Be Bettered Remembered

Engaging images that are emotionally charged are more memorable. And being “unforgettable” is vital to nonprofits and corporate citizens who are trying to raise their cause above the “noise” of other organizations competing for awareness, funds and media attention. 

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Making Your Cause Pop: 6 Ways to Make Your Cause Irresistible

5/12/2014

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On any given day, newspapers host articles on numerous social projects and fundraising galas; highways are adorned with banners announcing upcoming social initiatives; posters at doctors’ offices offer constant reminders of health issues, and on and on. Therefore, most cause marketing clients assume that these are the best ways to communicate their cause. And communicate you must - because of the plethora of organizations competing for media spots, volunteers and donor funds, you’ve got to find a way to make your cause stand out.

However, there are simpler things that can make your cause become foremost in the publics’ minds and, hopefully, foremost in their case for contribution. 

One of the most important things that make a cause pop is the Cause Leader. The characteristics of the Cause leader, his/her personality and leadership style, even the way he/she dresses, can affect the organization. Below are a few tips for Cause Leaders who want to make their cause so irresistible, they pop!

1. Be a Cause Champion: How often do you tell people about your organization? If you’re going to make your organization stand out from the crowd, you’d better develop the “gift of the gab.” In short, you must learn the art of self-promotion. Tell everyone you come in contact with about your organization and the creative solutions you’ve developed to relieve societal ills. Promoting your ideas is not just useful – it’s vital. Remember, promoting your cause is not about arrogance - it’s about helping others.

2. Dress the Part: Some cause leaders often color coordinate their outfits to their cause or to the color of their logo, which quickly allows people to identify with their cause. The chairperson of the breast cancer association should always wear something pink or pink ribbon. The director of the anti-smoking association could wear an anti-smoking pin.  These simple tactics can become “triggers” – giving you and your cause instant recognition and keeping your cause foremost in the minds of stakeholders. Furthermore, these tactics consistently convey your commitment to your cause which deeply influences all your stakeholders.

3. Communicate with Passion and Authenticity: Once you commit to become an outspoken leader, focus on how you communicate about your cause. Are you spewing out boring statistics or using technical terms that the average person would not understand? Use the simplest terms possible when talking to people about your cause, but make sure you do it passionately and optimistically. Optimistic people on a mission are sticky – we’re attracted to their excitement and to their optimism that they can make a difference, prompting them join you on your cause. However, authenticity is of utmost importance. If your stakeholders feel that you are not genuine, they won’t support your cause and even worse - they may suggest others don’t either.

4.Use the Ripple Effect: Most people take up a cause and start thinking about how they can get the pubic, government or other organizations on board, neglecting to get their friends and family on board first. This happens for a variety of reasons: maybe they will discourage you…and maybe not. Family and friends can also become great champions for your cause because they are more emotionally involved with you and typically know more about the motivation behind the cause. Were your neighbors’ also victims of a home invasion? If they were, undoubtedly they would support your crime prevention campaign. Are you a survivor of breast cancer? If you were, your family members should easily support you after witnessing your battle with this deadly disease. Employees and work colleagues are also excellent sources of support, whether it is for funding, volunteer work, keeping you motivated on your mission or just promoting your cause through word of mouth. This is what I call a positive cause ripple. So seek support from those closest to you and then work outwards. Remember, this is how a wave travels across a pond.

5. Tell the World: Cause leaders need to constantly communicate their successes – not just their needs. People like to support organizations they feel are making a vital difference. Cause leaders sometimes forget this and constantly cite the needs of their organization and neglect to mention their successes – even if they are small. Promoting your organization’s successes emphasizes the effectiveness of the organization and you as an effective leader. So, share your good news and consistently highlight the positive impact your organization is achieving on your website, press releases, newsletters and social media.

6. Focus on Telling Stories Not Statistics: Always try to find the story behind the statistics and communicate these to your stakeholders. Statistics are important, but use them liberally. People are dramatically affected when they see and read about the real people your cause helps. Did watching your mother succumb to breast cancer inspire you to found this organization? Let people know that. Did you highlight the emotional stories of the orphans your organization supports? Dramatic visuals and compelling stories are vital to make your cause pop. Remember, statistics are cold, factual; stories are heartwarming, moving and personal.


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    Author

    Lady Rabia Abdul-Hakim is a mu;ti-genre author, international speaker, Communications & Branding Strategist for Go Women Global and a Champion of the UN's Women's Empowerment Principles . She is also the Founder & CEO of ContessaBlack Entertainment and the former Co-founder of BIG Cause (Arabia), a cause marketing communications agency in the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia. 

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